Fat Princess (2022)/Transcript

(The red and blue princess are in the woods.)

Artemis: Once upon a time, in the land of Titania, there lived 2 princesses who loved to play together in the black forest. One day while walking through the woods, they came across a most mysterious sight.

(The princesses see a huge cake and begin eating it.)

Artemis: It was a cake. Growing out of the ground. Enticed by the frosting covered wonder, the princesses could not resist a quick taste, followed by a quick bite, and then a whole slice! In the blink of an eye, the princesses were overwhelmed by the intense yumminess.

(The kings and their armies are on their horses looking for the princesses.)

Artemis: Hours later, when the princesses failed to return home, the kings became worried, and sent search parties into the forest. The princesses were soon found, but the kings were shocked by the sight that met their eyes.

(The red and blue princesses are seen fat.)

King Allan and King Maximus: They're going to explode!

Artemis: Cried the kings.

King Allan and King Maximus: Stop them! Stop them!

(The kings and the princesses return to their castles.)

Artemis: Returning to their castles, the kings agreed the cake must be cursed and no one in Titania should be allowed to eat it ever again. Little did they know the surprise they would receive the next morning.

(Nolan runs up to the king.)

Nolan: Sire, sire, the princess! She won't stop eating. She says she is still starving. The only way we can stop her stomach from rumbling is by feeding her the forbidden cake.

(King Allan puts his hand on his face.)

King Allan: Send men to the forest. Tell them to bring all the cake they can carry.

(The red princess eats all the cake she can.)

Artemis: Months passed and nothing in Titania changed. The princess ate and ate, while the king dispaired.

(A messenger brings a note in.)

Artemis: Then one day, a message arrived from a neighboring kingdom.

(King Allan opens and looks at the message.)

King Allan: Huzzah! Good news, good news! Prince Albert is coming to choose a bride. Once he kisses the princess, the curse of the Black Forest will be broken forever.

Nolan: Err, sire? What happens if the prince chooses the other princess?

King Allan: No no no. We can't let that happen. Let me think. Hmmm....... That's it! I have a cunning plan.

Nolan: What is it sire?

King Allan: We shall kidnap their princess in the dead of night and hold her captive until after the wedding. Prince Albert will marry my daughter and then we can all return once more to a less sugary diet.

(The red and blue teams are seen fighting.)

Artemis: Since the day that King Allan came up with the plan. Lots of bad things happened. Shadowy figures at night came and stole the blue princess. After that, the blue team has been framing the red team for abduction. We've suffered through a lot of wars. And while we did of course try to bring back the princess, the shadowy figures kept coming back.

Artemis: In this book, it shows us 13 locations where we fight for war.

(The book opens up.)

Artemis: Most of these locations include.

(A series of wars shows as Artemis points out the locations.)

Artemis: Black Forest, The Great Gorge, Coco Cliffs, Deep Fried, Rocky Road, Sugar Cove, Tropical Punch, Hot Sauce and there are some other locations but I don't want to bore anyone out.

Artemis: Things got a whole lot better in the future when all the classes of battle assembled on a mission. This is our story.

(Artemis is about to walk into a family friendly bar.)

Artemis: Our story begins at a bar.

Bartender: How old are you?

Artemis: Does it matter? I'm 14.

Bartender: Oh. I see. What's wrong?

Artemis: Well, I attend an army in the color of red. And to make the story sound real, I, fight through a lot of wars.

Bartender: Oh I get it. Don't worry yourself, I'm sure one day, peace will be brought back to the land.

Artemis: You can say that again. I highly doubt it.

Bartender: So, can I start you off with something?

Artemis: Um. Chocolate milk, in a glass cup.

Bartender: Sir, most of our cups are glass.

Artemis: Ok.

Bartender: Here you are sir.

Artemis: Thanks.

Leonidas: Are you in the red army?

Artemis: Uh.... yeah. What about it?

Leonidas: I'm with you. These wars can give me a headache.

Artemis: Exactly.

Leonidas: Got a name?

Artemis: Artemis Bonfiyur.

Leonidas: Leonidas Alberto. Say, is Bonfiyur a real word?

Artemis: No. That's what my last name is. Would you like a pronunciation?

Leonidas: Go ahead.

Artemis: Bon-fee-yare.

Leonidas: Awesome, now I know your last name.

Artemis: Did your parents force you to sign up for it?

Leonidas: No, but what I actually did is see a poster featuring King Allan saying that he wants us to join the red army.

(More to come)